The Way Things would be if Fanfiction were true
by huntress in the dark
Summary: It's funny 'cause it's true


The way things would be if fanfiction was true:

Full Metal Alchemist

Edward Elric

Edward would lose/break his right arm so often Winry would have to keep a huge stock of extra arms just for him.

He and Alphonse would visit Resembool every few months.

He'd beat the bejesus out of Hoenhiem every chance he gets, not to mention have fouler language.

He would die at least two dozen times, (none of them would be nice, most would be at the hands of Envy) and be resurrected every time.

Keep a huge list of nasty epithets For Col… ('scuse me) General Roy Mustang.

On the back of that list there would be another long list of people whose asses he has to kick.

It would take him as long or half as long to find the philosopher stone. With the stone, he would restore Alphonse to his original body, and get his lost limbs back (of course) then make a special trip to Resembool to show Winry their restored bodies. (Much rejoicing)

Afterwards he would either build himself a mansion and reap the benefits of his fame,

He'd be going steady with winry if not engaged already, grow to be six feet tall, or remain perpetually short. He'd be a "loose" drunk

**OR**

He would be sent over to our world and live out a dull monotonous hell. (A.E. never finds that damn bomb, but teach complex, honors level, chemistry classes in a college) Marry alternate Winry (or winry herself who has crossed over here as well…) have kids who look exactly like him and the "Winry" in question. In other words He'd live a normal life.

Alphonse Elric

Alphonse would never die, have a zillion kitties, even speak "kitty", and his human body would be hot. He'd be the voice of reason nobody listens to until it's too late, He'd have a big crush on Winry. He'd get repeatedly kidnapped, occasionally tortured, be the designated peace keeper, secret holder and al around best "supporting actor", constantly over shadowed by his older brother. He'd usually be the quieter, more reserved, normal one; almost "angelic" in comparison, yet nothing too interesting would happen to him.

If he's not the one being saved, he's usually the one to stop Ed from killing himself in a very angsty way. He'd watch out for Ed almost as much as Ed watches out for him -

He would always, always ALWAYS be considered to be the more effeminate one despite the fact that it's Edward with the long hair….

He and Wrath would be friends.

Winry Rockbell

Winry would have a big time crush on Edward, so painfully obvious, everyone would know.

Her Wrench would have innumerable dings and dents and chipped all over the place and none of it would be from fixing a machine of any kind.

She'd have a well hidden hicky on her neck from a certain alchemist. We need not say who.

If /when Ed leaves Amestris, she becomes an emotional wreck, 95 of the time. The remaining 5 of the time she's working incessantly on Auto-mail.

Roy Mustang

His office would be buried in paper work, and on his desk would be a calendar with daily short jokes. He'd never come to work on time.

Every woman in Amestris would want him.

He'd occasionally wake up to find girls in bed with him.

He and Riza would be "an item".

Every once in while there would be a battle between Riza and Roy, right in his office, involving bullets and fire.

He'd have a cabinet full of all sorts of booze saved for certain occasions…

Mustang would be considered a "father figure" to Ed.

Riza Hawkeye

Riza would be extremely trigger happy. She'd use her gun to 'encourage' slackers to work.

Her feminine side would show a lot more, that or be even more of a wall.

She and Mustang would practically be engaged

She'd always admire Roy from a distance. She'd never be the first to admit her love for him. She might be seen in a mini skirt once in a great while, but it would be the last thing Roy would ever see.

Maes Hughes

Hughes would be the picture toting comic relief. He'd support Roy in more ways than could be imagined. His passing would be marked as a national day of mourning. Yes, complete strangers to the man would weep buckets and they would not know why.

He'd be the most resurrected person in the series next to Ed.

HITD: Oh yeah, and if EVERY Fanfiction was true, every last one of them would be bi.

Cast of Fma: WHHAAAAATTT!!!!!!!

HITD: aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!! (runs away from many deadly projectiles)


End file.
